Because of this I can't skip dinner. I need some kind of excuse for her to let me "eat" in my room again. I always feel so horrible and selfish but I feel so so much worse when I've eaten a full meal and can't do anything about it.
Well... that's not strictly true, but I can't purge, I tried once and I hated it. It's better (for me, anyway) to just not eat or to chew and spit to trick my stomach into thinking there's something coming down my oesophagus.
Either way, I can't eat that food, I can't.
Calories so far today;
Cereal - 171
Ham sandwich ~ 280
Apple - 80
KitKat - 107
Banana - 100
Orange juice - 47
Snacks, etc. ~ 150
Total ~ 935
omg, I've eaten far too much today. The sandwich I eat every day is killing my diet, I have to cut down.
I was really bummed because I'd struggled to keep my weight down the past few days - I would see no reward after fasting most of the weekend - but I got my period today so I feel better. I'm usually a couple pounds heavier for two or three days beforehand, so hopefully things will be looking up next week. :)
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